Being a parent is not easy and it is not an ability that you were born with, you as parents learn a lot in the process of raising your children. Parenting may seem easier for some parents, but to some it is a troublesome task.
Every parent in this world would want the best for their children but are you doing parenting right? Let us spot the eight (8) common parenting mistakes and how to fix them before your children become spoilt brats.
1. Over-protecting
As parents, it is our responsibility to keep our children away from anything that will harm them. If it is possible, we will bubble wrap our children every single day, the moment they step out from the door. Every time your children are facing problems, do you swoop in to provide the solutions for them so that your children will not be troubled?
Over-protecting your children will cease their opportunities to be independent, daring, exploring and trying new things. It will make them be scared to try something new and will try to avoid problems instead of facing them. Other pet names for the over-protective parents is helicopter parent!
How to Fix This?
Let your children have the chances to thrive on their own while facing challenges in their every day lives including in school too! It is okay for the children to fall and hurt their knees occasionally because they will learn from their experiences. Children will understand that every action that they take will have consequences and sometimes accidents happen.
2. Trying to Raise a Perfect Child
Normally, for first-time parents, they always make this parenting mistake which is they are trying to raise a perfect child. Once the child grows up, the strict rules, classes, tight schedule will come and constantly checking on the child. Parents will force their child and set unrealistic expectation for the child to achieve.
How to Fix This?
Indeed, it is advisable and the best if parents can set guidelines for their child on what they can do and cannot do. But that does not mean that children are forced to listen to their parents all the time. Children should have their says and the rules are flexible enough to cater what the children want and need from time to time.
3. Comparing with Others
For kindergarteners, it is normal when parents or teachers even compared their grades to their classmates in the classroom. This is something that has an adverse effect on children. When children are compared with others, this will affect the children’s self-confidence and highly damaging to their well-being. Children will be pressured to prove to you that they also can be just like the one you compared them with, and this will leave the children frustrated and tired.
How to Fix This?
If you are noticing that your child’s grades are not as good as their friends are, sit and talk with your child. Discuss and find out what are the difficulties your child is having. This way, you can help your child to improve himself/herself in a positive manner without the need to compare them.
4. No Rules or Limits
Unlike adults, children are having difficulties in living in a world without rules or limits set to them. Children will not understand what they are expected to do, what they are allowed to say or act and what are parents’ expectations of them.
How to Fix This?
Parents need to set up some rules and guidelines for children to follow. When creating these rules, let children be involved in the process and let them feel that they are respected by you as they are given the right to voice out their opinions. Also, you can make children agree or let them suggest the punishment later when they break any rules made.
5. Putting Blame Elsewhere
Parents dislike it when their children are pointed out for making mistakes and some of the parents would be defending their children without investigating the real issue. For instance, when your child is getting bad grades, you are blaming the teacher for not paying attention to your child in the classroom or when your child hit someone when playing together with their friends, you blame the other children for hurting your child. Sounds familiar? Yes, this is one of the common mistakes committed by parents.
How to Fix This?
It is very concerning for the children’s attitude if this is happening in the long run. Parents need to admit the mistakes if their children make them. This will show the children that every action has consequences and they cannot just get away from it by blaming others.
6. A Friend More than a Parent
It is understandable that parents will always want to make their children appreciate and treat them like a small adult. But here’s where everything can go wrong, and parents can easily make the sixth common parenting mistake. When parents are being too close with their children more towards a friend relationship, it would be difficult for parents to set some ground rules and make decisions that are against the children’s desire.
How to Fix This?
It is no harm if parents want to be both parent and a friend to their child but parents need to make it clear to the child that some decisions are made according to not what the children want (most of the time) but based on what is the best for their interest. This way, children will understand that even though their mommies and daddies are friends, they are still their parents as well and there are some rules that need to be followed.
7. Preaching without Practicing
Children always imitate the adults that are closer to them (which are their parents or guardians). These adults are the children’s role models. When parenting children, it is often that parents give a long lecture of not to do. For examples, the parents’ lectures will be regarding on:
- It is not good to eat junk food
- It is not good to spend time on television
- It is not good to be playing with gadgets all the time
- It is not good this… It is not good that…
However, some parents are only good at giving lectures but not practicing them which makes the children confuse on what are right and wrong. Is it your words or your actions?
How to Fix This?
Parents need to be aware and ensure that they walk the talk. Children need to see that you are practicing what you preach, and they will follow suit. After all, imitation is what children do all the time while growing up.
8. Ignoring Child’s School Life
Finally, the eighth common parenting mistake is parents tend to ignore child’s school life. When children are home from school, a question that parents always ask is “Do you have a homework? Do not forget to get it done!” and the conversation ends there.
How to Fix This?
Children need to know that parents care about their school life. There are a lot more to know about children’s experiences in school, what do they had for lunch, who are their friends, what are the names of the teachers, what do they learn in the classroom and so on. Children will be more open to discuss anything that is bothering them in school if they are used to share about school life with you.
